Daoist Sexuality

Exploring the Hidden Power of Female Sexuality: A Workbook for Women by Maitreyi D. Piontek (Samuel Weiser) inspires women to go to the depths of womanhood to explore the hidden secrets of yin. In a playful way, she encourages women to surrender to the abyss and stillness of their being, where yin is centered. While sexuality is considered to be a fundamental base of health, creativity, and spirituality, and has been used as a main energy source, it has been dominated by the male principle (yang). This comprehensive theoretical and practical introduction to holistic female sexology enables women to understand their own true nature. Piontek includes meditations and exercises geared toward connecting with the well of unlimited strength to liberate from personal and collective conditioning.

Excerpt:

Women still think that enjoying sex is selfish. But sexuality is not just the satisfaction of an instinctual urge or a pleasant way for nature to ensure reproduction. Its possibilities reach fat beyond this. Because many women are not in touch with their intrinsic nature, they end up playing a role that does not really suit or nourish them. They are easily manipulated or abused and find themselves playing the victim role, or are humiliated and hurt over and over again. They do not learn to access their own internal strength so their sexual potential remains hidden. With the help of the Tao, I want to invite women to explore sexuality, so we all are able to feel it as a part of our whole being.

Women who are ready to come to terms with their sexuality, and who want to find new ways to experience it are still a small minority. In fact, the overwhelming majority of women live in a social situation where it does not even come to their minds to ask themselves, "Do I have a fulfilled sexuality?" or, "Is this all there is?" Millions of women are living in very primitive circumstances in little villages, in India for example, far below the subsistence level. Most of them are not able to read or write, and their religion and society have dictated that they worship their husband as a god. For women in these circumstances, whether they have an orgasm or not, or if it is clitoral, vaginal, or even "cosmic" is simply not an issue.

In Muslim and African communities, it is still the custom to circumcise small girls, to cut out the clitoris or the lips of the vulva. Every so often a girl dies after this painful procedure, which is often done without any anesthesia. The tradition is practiced today in over twenty‑two countries. The endless pain and lack of respect which so many women have borne through the ages has become part of our collective consciousness. And this shared collective experience is what still connects and unites all women.

In psychology; the term "collective" refers to the psychic (of the psyche, not intuitive contents of the mind that belong to an individual, to a social group of people, to a nation or race, or to all of humanity as a whole. The modern concept of a collective consciousness was originally formed by C. G. Jung. This collective consciousness determines the behavior of a group and the content of their minds: their norms, views of life, customs, symbolism, and their sexual habits. The stronger the collective, the more meaningless the "I" becomes. The less we have developed and experienced our individuality, the more we are ruled and identified with the collective. The uniqueness of the personality is absorbed and loses its independence. We, as individuals, turn into an expression of the crowd.

People, who live their lives unconsciously, without any inquiry or investigation, become like a channel; they are an open invitation for the pattern of the collective mind to act through them. That's how the predominant structures of society‑the traditions, religions, and the sexual roles of women‑get passed on through the womb, unfiltered, from generation to generation. Now the time has come where women, at least in some parts of the world, are free to give a completely new contribution to the collective, with new qualities and new possibilities.

We cannot afford to ignore the vast possibilities of womanhood. Most women are not aware that it is possible to unfold the potential of female sexuality, whether we are living in a perfect relationship, having great sex, or becoming a mother. Our possibilities go beyond our involvement in outer circumstances and can unfold irrespective of them. But these restrictive ideas about being a woman, based on dependency, are deeply engraved in our unconscious mind. The collective mind is flowing through our blood and soaking our bones with this ancient conditioning. The hidden power of sexuality reveals itself by learning the art of swimming against the mainstream.

The bad news is that there are no valid role models for the modern woman today. The good news is that we do not need them! Over years of working with women, individually and in various workshops, it is confirmed again and again, that we do not need outer images or pictures. Every woman is carrying unlimited wisdom and strength within, and the Tao can help us get in

As long as we have not liberated the feminine healing power that sleeps within us, we will be hurt and humiliated over and over again, until the healer is healed. When a woman has access to her well of inner strength, she will also have the desire and courage to set herself free from the archaic chains and limitations that burden her sexuality. Women's liberation is an implosion, an explosion inward, a quantum leap that gives inner space and independence.

In the process of this liberation we are lead through all the pain we carry within, and through all the injustice to which we have been exposed over centuries. To liberate female sexuality means to free ourselves from the boundaries of identification with others who limit our perception of the vast possibilities we have in being a woman. To develop an independent sexuality based on free choice is not just the foundation of a more fulfilled life; it also carries with it the possibility of influencing the collective soul with more pleasant, joyful, and loving qualities.

I have often been asked why, as a modern Western woman and as a sexologist, do I work with an Eastern method like the Tao?  The answer is very simple. Ever since I can remember, Western health and therapeutic models have never really convinced me of their effectiveness. They seem coincidental, unnatural, and `~ unable to touch the real depth of our being, unable to find the genuine root of a specific problem. Even when they come wrapped in convincing and impressive theories, they seem but superficial. I am not generally against Western science and therapy. But when it comes to female sexuality and its understanding, development, and treatment, I prefer a model that presents an overall view and expands our vision to allow us to understand our lives through a holistic approach. The Taoist methodology has the tools to make this possible.

Many Western sexual therapists, doctors, and psychologists are still stuck deep in infancy. The state of neurosis and frustration they carry within limits their capacity to understand and help people I am often deeply shocked when 1 hear about some

of the bizarre methods therapists are using to try to heal their clients' sexual problems. Some patients, especially women, wind up even more disturbed and confused by the "therapies;" We hear that abuse or voyeurism has unfortunately become rather common in therapy today. I feel that to unfold the feminine essence we need to use methods that go beyond therapy, methods that are ruled by spirituality and love, and that suit the female nature.

On my first trip to India in 1978, I attended a series of lectures held by the Indian mystic Osho, and he talked about the Tao. That was my first contact with Taoism. At that time I was learning my first Chi Kung form, the Eight Brocades, had my first acupuncture session, and prepared my first Chinese herbal teas. At the time I did not realize that these healing arts and health exercises were all rooted in the Tao. All I knew about the Tao was that there were two wise men involved in the tradition, Lao Tzu and Chuan Tzu. I was just interested in the tantric way, the way of love, surrender, and dissolving the ego.

In 1986, I met the Taoist Master Mantak Chia and was Initiated into the internal work of the Tao, including the sexual practices. I was quite overwhelmed by these techniques. They were very powerful and had a strong effect on my body and my energy. At that time the intensity of the energy work was very exciting, but not very nourishing and healing. Only later on, when I became more sensitive to female energy patterns, did I understood the negative side effects that the exercises can have on the female body. To be able to balance out the meditation and energy work, I decided to study traditional Chinese medicine, nutrition, and the basics about the healing herbs. Through these studies, the pieces of the puzzle began to fall in place for me.

I started on this journey with the Tao exclusively to benefit my own inner growth and meditation. Eventually, I realized that it could also be a useful tool for my work with other women. It was beautiful to observe that what worked for me also helped others. I opened my work to the Tao, and together with all the women who were attending my workshops, we surrendered more and more to the silent power of the feminine, and the secrets hidden within started to unfold.

With this book I am addressing women only. It is not my goal 1 to reach men so they are able to understand women. My only intention in writing this book is that women find a deeper understanding of their own female sexuality. While lecturing on issues of female sexuality, I keep observing an interesting thing. The men who are present at these lectures are either bored or offended. This is not my intention. While writing this book, I did not want to consider male feelings and social conditioning. I do not expect that men will understand or like this book.

I am a woman writing for women. It is a book originating out of my experience as a woman. I do not just want to reach your sense of logic or intellect. I would like to reach your whole being. While writing the book, I have surrendered to female intuition and the female principle so that they can guide me. I did not want to impress or discourage you with amazing phrases and great ideas. And I do not want to make you feel insecure about yourself by presenting perfect, idealistic images and conditions. I will give my best so that you will`be able to deepen your understanding and your experiences to recognize the pattern of your sexuality, so you will be able to allow your feminine potential to unfold from the strength within.

This book is a comprehensive introduction to the holistic female sexology of the Tao. It is based and rooted in the traditional Taoist view of life, and traditional Chinese medicine. It includes playful exercises to try, as well as practical hints for healing. And it is written to inspire and encourage you to look at different aspects of sexuality from the female point of view, so you are able to explore and experience your inner world at your own individual pace.

This book is written to help you increase your perception of your sexuality, especially if you are interested in liberating your sexuality from the personal and collective patterns and ideas. It is written so you can learn to develop and explore new healing qualities. It will also help you discover your shadow sides and taboos. Fear, insecurity. jealousy. mental blocks, power games, and borrowed concepts or fantasies are the obstacles that are preventing femininity from flowering.

In this book you will find sections dealing with emotions, sexual techniques, sexual development, problems and misunderstandings, dealing with male sex, healing love, and sex in everyday life.

Along with theoretical explanations, I have provided many healing exercises to try. They are divided into categories that are clearly identified in the margin. The different categories are: "Try This!" "Go Deeper! "Hints for Healing!" "My Diary!" "Watch Out!" "Healing Points!"

You will not find universally applicable instant recipes in this book to change your life. Instead, you will find an inspiration to discover your own truth. I am not attempting to write a complete or perfect book; this would not correspond to the Tao. Rather I would like to encourage you to get to know yourself better, until you become an expert at self‑healing. While reading this book you may be moved to go beyond your limits and your wounded personality to discover your own truth and wisdom within.

To deepen your experiences it is recommended that you get yourself a beautiful diary. You will find some questionnaires in the text, and to derive the most benefit from them, I recommend that you give yourself enough time to reflect on the questions and let them touch you. Write down your experiences and insights in your diary to deepen the inner process that is initiated. It is up to you how deeply you want to get involved with your personality and your sexuality. I would like to invite you to open yourself to the Tao. It will provide you with all the help that you need.

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